Author Archives: theironclad

May 27 2012
14 Comments
Cooking

The Vegan Survival Guide – Chapter 2 : Substitution

On your way to becoming a vegan master, you will undoubtedly run into several obstacles when it comes to making your favorite dishes. The good news is you don’t have to say goodbye to baking, making cream sauces, or any other edible or drinkable that requires dairy. This post will assist in your survival in your perilous vegan journey of DOOM!

… only not really. The doom part. Whatever.

Milk

Milk is easily substituted in consumption and in cooking. Our go-to is almond milk. It is mostly allergen friendly, has some protein, twice the calcium of moo milk, and tastes effing delicious. For cooking, non-sweetened plain almond milk is suggested. It won’t add any mysterious extra flavors, and can seamlessly be integrated into your dish for similar results. Other alternatives include coconut milk and soy milk. Coconut milk is distinctively thick and coconutty. I recommend it for smoothies and as a density agent for things like sauces. Soy milk comes last; it’s pretty well known and established in most stores. It has a buttload of protein (thank you, soybean), and can be a solid substitute for cooking. Speaking of soybeans, to make a cream sauce you can start with a block of silken tofu as a base. Alternately, use cashews that have been soaking overnight. Boomsaucylaucy!

PROTIP : Almond milk is portable and storable. It can be purchased in little boxes that store well in most conditions. Christie, for instance, has a box of chocolate almond milk at her work desk. She can keep it there until she needs it. No refrigeration necessary. Booya!

Eggs

Substituting eggs is a deceptively simple task. At first glace as a vegan, you’ll say ‘But Brent, you magnificent beast, there’s no substitute for the sexiness of chicken embryo!’ Nay, I say to you. Forsooth! Hark! Gadzooks! Flax seeds! No, really, that last one was what you were supposed to read. Flax seeds when ground down with your mighty fists can be a nice substitute for eggs.

How to make an egg :
1 Tablespoon Ground Flax Seeds
3 Tablespoons Water
Heat in microwave for ~20 seconds, stir. Repeat until mixture is thick, consistency agrees with you.

If making your own does not appeal to you, you can use applesauce when baking fluffy things. Note that it may affect the flavor of your creation. Finally, commercially available egg substitutes are available. EnerG makes a boxed egg substitute. But since you will have to mix it with water, you may as well just stick with the flax seeds.

When baking isn’t your game, but breakfasting is, tofu scramble is a go-to for us. It’s simple to make, and with the right texture of tofu, it will resemble eggs with virtually no magic. Virtually.

PROTIP : More like ‘good for you for choosing an egg alternative’; By not consuming eggs, you are avoiding salmonella, cholesterol, and cruelty in one fell swoop. Feed your kids cookie dough batter with no consequence! Throw them at cars! Make a Rocky shake! Whatevs!

ADRIAAARRRRRRRGABLLGH!

Cheese

This one was really hard to give up when it came to going vegan. The good news is there are plenty of alternatives. Commercially available cheeses are freaking everywhere, and they are gaining strength in the market. What’s more is that they are tasty, healthier, and some even melt like moo cheese. I could wax about vegan cheese alternatives, but Christie and I already have!

PROTIP : Daiya for melty goodness. Also check out our three cheese posts to date! 1.1 2.0 3.0

Sexy Conclusion
After reading this, I’m sure you’re thinking ‘Wow, Brent, you are a smelly hairy weirdo!’ And you’d be 100% correct! But what you may not have known before this post is that substitution is integral to your success as a venturing veganator and AND it doesn’t have to be rocket science. By getting this far in the post, I can assume that you care enough to seek alternatives to your cooking needs, and that’s freaking awesome. Take the next step and try some of these alternatives out!

Peace out, my vegans.

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Apr 26 2012
7 Comments
Cooking, Main Dishes

Butternut Squash Ribs or: How I Learned to Stop Hating and Love the Squash

Before becoming vegan, I wasn’t a huge fan of gourds. I wasn’t a fan of the texture or the flavor of those I sampled. But as I say about tofu, I probably didn’t like it because it hadn’t been prepared properly.

The butternut squash we used for this culinary experiment sat in our veggie bowl for well over a week. I’d venture to say more than two, even. What I’m trying to say is it kept really well in spite of our best efforts to ignore it. When it finally came time to disguise the gourd as something delicious, a simple and elegant plan formed in Christie’s brain : enter butternut squash ribs.

Prep for these badboys is deceptively simple:

  1. Cut the squash  into rib-like shapes
  2. Coat in barbecue sauce
  3. Toss in the oven
  4. Wait.

That being said, the star of the show will be the sauce (pronounced sow-suh). We’d encourage you to make your own. We cheated. We got two sauces from OrganicVille; a tangy and a regular variety. This particular brand’s sauces are tasty. Tasty and gluten-free, that is.

Preheat your oven to 400ºF, and once you have properly covered the ‘ribs’ in sauce, arrange them on a baking sheet and toss them in. The objective here is to heat up the ‘ribs’ so the sauce caramelizes a bit and helps soften up the squash, as this variety is decidedly hard uncooked. So, leave it in there for a half hour or until you are satisfied with the softness as gauged by stabbing it with a fork.

Finally, enjoy dem ‘ribs’. The texture for ours was slightly chewy, but harder approaching the rind. Add more sauce as necessary, of course, and don’t be afraid to spice it up if it doesn’t meet your oral expectations.

Peace out, my vegans.

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Apr 19 2012
6 Comments
Thoughts

The Vegan Survival Guide – Chapter 1 : Salvage

While this blog has loads of excellent ideas for meals, snacks, and other nomulous goodies, it doesn’t tell you how to survive when what you make doesn’t exactly look/taste/smell as good as expected. This post is to help you when the situation strikes.

A mantra I live by is ‘Enough hot sauce and anything can taste good’ has helped me recover what would otherwise be a disastrous snack or meal. Here are some of my favorites.

Tapatío

Tapatío is there if you want to make something burny spicy. I’ll be the first to admit that doesn’t sound very nice, but I like burny… most times. It can overcome flavors that are otherwise unpleasant. Whether it’s the sauce laying waste to your taste buds or enhancing the flavor is up for debate. Bottom line : It works.

 

 

Cholula 

This hot sauce is milder than Tapatio, and that’s alright. It adds more flavor as opposed to burning, and that’s pretty badass. It certainly adds spice, don’t get me wrong. But it’s mild enough that it shouldn’t tear your mouth apart when mixing it in with / topping something. Bonus : It also comes in a chipotle variety.
( *m*)

 

Sriracha

Pronounced ‘cock sauce’,* this chili sauce is divine. It really goes on most anything really really well. It works best with rice dishes, in my opinion, but I’ll reiterate that any food will fall before Sriracha.

 

 

Moore’s Buffalo Wing Sauce

This sauce has become my new mistress of sorts. To me, the balance of spice and flavor is excellent. It adds a little salty flavor (from the vinegar), and a good amount of spice that won’t leave you on the toilet the next morning wondering if you dropped the soap on the show Oz. A special note : Buffalo wing sauces often use butter as an ingredient. Moore’s does not, and uses margarine instead. This is very important to look out for if you want to keep your vegan powers.

Salsa

While not really hot sauce, per se, salsa can be the missing ingredient when salvaging a meal. You’ll be getting additional veggies and salt (depending on how you or the manufacturer prepares it), as well as something to enhance/drown the flavor of your food. Keep some on hand just in case.

As you venture forth into the vegan unknown, there are some tools you will want to keep handy so as to save what you will undoubtedly spend what seems like endless time preparing. Granted, this is true for all culinary learning experiences, not just for vegans. However, as a vegan you may find yourself cooking for yourself more than you ever did before. The take home message here is to not throw it out if it’s gnarly; try using some spicy condiments instead. What are some of your tricks to save meals that don’t quite come out right?

*Not really, but it appeals to my inner 12 year-old

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Apr 11 2012
4 Comments
Thoughts

Where do you get your protein?

I come from a family that loves meat and dairy. Sound familiar?

My dad doesn't really look like this.

My dad is an avid bow hunter. My mother is down with Paula Dean. My brother and I were certainly a product of them. That is, I freaking loved meat and cheese. Upon challenging myself to be vegan, I had to re-educate myself about what food was good for me. Being disgustingly close to a scientist/vegan makes for delicious amounts of good information.

Ultimately the question from my family is always — always — “How do you get your protein?” Without going into an anthropological diatribe reminding you and them how our LCA likely survived best on nuts and plants gathered rather than from the often rotten scavenged meats the males would kill themselves to get, I will throw down a quick list of vegan goodies that are high in protein.

Peas

Peas are the overlooked powerhouse of the western diet. Not only are they jam packed with vitamins and minerals your body craves, but they offer a generous dose of protein to keep you strong like young bull (5.9g/100g).  Protip : Stay away from canned peas… or canned anything for that matter.

Beans

They don’t just make you toot; they make you strong. A cup of cooked beans can yield 12g of protein. That’s pretty gangster if you ask me. I prefer black beans when I get the choice (read : when cooking). I like the flavor more than green beans, and I stay away from refried beans. While that seems limiting, the nutritional benefit is nothing to scoff at and there are loads of ways to prepare them.

Soy Beans

I had to put these separately as they provide such an insane amount of protein. 68g per cup, is what I’m reading. Unreal. I also had to put this separately as I know some folks who are allergic to soy. That really really really sucks.

Lentils

I love lentils. Lentil soup is amazing. Lentils with rice and quinoa is killer. What’s more is how they provide such an unreal amount of nutritional substance. 18g protein per cup? Yes please. Protip : If you sprout lentils before consumption (soak for more than 8 hours) you get all of the essential amino acids. By themselves.

Seeds

Here’s a fun one. Pumpkin seeds can provide 74g protein per cup. Eat them like sunflower seeds and crack the shell. Or eat them whole when cooking them in something. Better still, grind/blend up the seeds and make the pasty substance into something delicious!

Nuts

Nuts are awesome for protein, but the consequence for all that delicious flavor is a lot of extra fat and whatnot (20g protein per cup, but 48.11g fat too). That’s not to say that one should avoid nuts, but if looking for a lean way to get protein, nuts should be used sparingly. Almonds are a solid go-to and are now made into all sorts of goodies.

Asparagus

On the opposite end of the spectrum, we have asparagus. Not a lot of fat, but not a whopping amount of protein either (2.95g protein per cup, .16g fat per cup /underwhelmed). But consider that the human body isn’t meant to get 200g protein a day, folks. Rather, the average should be somewhere around 50-60g for men, 40-50g for the ladies. Then again, I’m not a nutritionist, and these numbers vary on height and weight. This should give you a nice jumping off point, though.

Final Thoughts

By being vegan, you don’t have to sacrifice protein. In fact, you shouldn’t. Your body effing needs it. I hope this post helps point you to the threshold of the myriad of options you have as a vegan to get your protein. Protein doesn’t just come from milk, cheese, eggs, meat. Some of the best protein comes from anything but meat and dairy. That said, this is not a comprehensive list by any means. There are loads of other protein sources out there. What are some of your favorites? Let me know in the comments below.

Peas out, my vegans.

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Feb 15 2012
4 Comments
Recipes, Snacks

So Easy, I Made a Clever Name For It

I decided to call them Croc Eyes. The ingredients are so effing simple it’s silly. But when vegan snack attacks call, avocados are the answer.

Whachu Need :
Avocado
Balsamic Vinegar
Garlic Salt

Preparation :
1) Cut the avocado in half, remove pit.
2) Sprinkle garlic salt, fill pit hole with vinegar.
3) Eat it with a spoon. Like a boss.

Really, the main event is the avocado. You can garnish it however you please, or not at all. Point is  avocados are really good for you, and their mild flavor makes it easy to dress up.

Finding a Good Avocado

So, there’s not much to make this delicious snack. If you’re looking for a good avocado, there are some easy steps to follow. Organic is a good first step, as with all veggies, but if you can’t do that, at least you’re consuming them. To check how ripe they are, push down on the stem. If there’s some give, you got a good avocado. Keep in mind that an avocado may need to ripen a day or so before it’s really good. And if you cut it open and there are a couple spots of brown/black, don’t sweat it. That there is from people squeezing it to make sure it’s ripe. That’s why you should push the stem 🙂

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Feb 05 2012
2 Comments
Recipes, Snacks

Cheesy Bean Dip, Or, How I Learned to Make Nachos in a Bowl

Today is Superbowl Sunday here in the USA. While I am not a football fan, I am a fan of cheesy bean dip.

Growing up, Superbowl Sunday was a bit of a holiday for my family. It would consist of non-stop, all-day snacking, and the highlight of which was my Mom’s cheesy bean dip. It would consist of Velveeta, cream cheese, beans and salsa. Today, I am going to show you how to make this without risking the structural integrity of your cardiovascular system.

The Players :
Tortilla Chips (Duh)
Daiya (1 pack, or half of two packages)
Salsa (Pace’s Thick and Chunky is my jam)
Black Beans (One can, drained)
OPTIONAL :
Hot Sauce (Tapatio, take me away)
Olives
Peppers, diced
Anything Else You Would Put Into Nachos

First, put a layer of Daiya at the bottom of a microwavable container that is large enough to accommodate all of your ingredients. Drop your black beans on top of that layer and cover it with more Daiya. Pour some salsa on top of that layer (I used 12oz for this experiment), and smother it all in Daiya.

Pop all of this into your microwave and cook for 2 minutes. Stir. Repeat until all the Daiya has melted (Should take 6-8 minutes cooking). The end result is a creamy dip for your tortilla chips that has a lot of flavor without loads of cholesterol and saturated fat. For added spice, drop in some Tapatio (or your favorite hot sauce) to taste.

Since this takes all of 10-15 minutes to make, it’s great for parties in a pinch. Or, for our inner lazy bachelors/bachelorettes it can be drizzled on top of a plate of chips and you have simple nachos. For easier clean up, say ‘Screw it’ to the plate of chips and just dip your chips into the bowl.

Experiment and find what works best for you. This can be refrigerated and reheated, so if you don’t finish it all, it’s not a complete waste.

Enjoy your flavor explosion, gang!

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Dec 07 2011
3 Comments
Main Dishes, Recipes

Delicious/Disgusting Bachelor Chow

Here’s the deal : I like mixing different food together to make something new. Ultimately, it looks unappetizing, inedible. I don’t care because it’s me eating it.

This is why writing for this blog is going to be decidedly difficult.

When I first started going vegan with by better half, I hit the same wall all soon-to-be-vegans do : WTF can you eat that doesn’t have meat or dairy in it? My go-to was rice.

Rice is deceptively easy to cook if you treat it tenderly and with respect. I prefer brown rice which is harder to cook for some, mostly because it takes longer to cook. And I must admit that it took (and is taking) a lot of trial and error to get the texture right. But the result is healthier than white rice.

Regardless of which kind of rice you choose to cook, rice by itself is pretty effing dull. Granted, you’ll get some basic nutrition out of it, but without loading up on soy sauce it can pretty much suck. Especially when you eat it every. night. like I did when I was first going vegan.

My solution to the boring rice problem was Bachelor Chow.

No, it’s not the dog food you see on Futurama. Rather, it’s a mix of things that can be super easy to cook, and winds up giving you an extraordinary amount of nutrition. Then I proceed to make it into junkfood with the things I add to it.

Let’s begin with the ground-level edition of BachChow, shall we?

BACHELOR CHOW

~6 Cups Water
1 Cup Brown Rice
1 Cup Quinoa
1/2 Cup Lentils

Estimated prep/cooking time ~50 minutes

Get a pot big enough to furnish ~7-8 Cups of material. Drop your water in there, and bring it to a full boil. Dump the rice, quinoa, and lentils all into the boiling water. Wait until the water starts to act all uppity and try to boil over, and drop the burner head down to medium heat (a little above medium is sufficient). Now, you play the waiting game.

With rice, you shouldn’t have to stir it to make it do its thing. Just let the boiling water do the work. Wait a half hour, and then return to the pot. If it still has water, let it boil another 5 minutes or so. But once holes start appearing in the mixture, that’s when it’s go time (Read : Get ready to make sure you don’t lose your batch of Bach to the burn deities).

Get your wooden spoon and go around the edges of the mixture to keep it from sticking. Then go from the outside of the pan in, so you scrape the bottom of the pot. If you feel resistance or a bumpy texture at the bottom of the pan, quickly go around the pot outside-inning until you ensure there is no stickage at the bottom of the pot. Turn off the heat. Note that there may be a little teensy-weensy bit of water left in the bottom of the pot. That’s totally cool. Just let the rice absorb what’s left of it.

Now you should have baseline BachChow. It has some fiber, some carbs, some aminos, some iron.  The rice should be soft, the lentils should be squishy, and the quinoa should make the dish look like a bunch of tiny sperm and egg exploded. It’s pretty damn good as it is. But you may want to add some flavor.

Below are some suggestions on how to spice up your BachChow to make it look horrific, and make it taste amazing.

Things you may want :
Daiya grated cheese (Mozzarella and Cheddar)
Garlic salt
Liquid Aminos
Hot Sauce (Tapatio, Cholula, Sriracha)
Tempeh

I’m not saying you need to mix all of the above into the BachChow. But I’m not saying you can’t, either. I like to add Liquid Aminos, hot sauce, and Daiya at the minimum. If you want to add some meaty texture, make some tempeh strips and drop them in there. Garlic salt can be a gangster addition, but some freshly diced garlic is a healthier choice.

Frankly, BachChow is something you should experiment with. Add veggies, add other sauces, add tomato sauce. Do what feels right. You may end up making an earth shattering mixture that is deceptively easy to make and reproduce.

Good luck with your BachChow.

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